I have been so frustrated lately with my (what I thought to be) best friends. Ever since the beginning of summer, they have turned into shallow, snarky, demanding, high school acting whine babies. The beginning of summer was exciting for me because I was moving into my own place as were my friends. I was finished with school for the summer and my work schedule was conducive with summer fun. Memorial day weekend was coming up and I had plans since March to go to a party with my boyfriend. I had been talking with my friends about this party and I thought they listened enough to understand that it was indeed on memorial day weekend. The four weekends prior to Memorial day weekend, we had all been hanging out on the weekends. We had a bonfire at one of their houses and then another fire the next weekend at the other friends. The weekend before memorial day weekend I spent with my mom. So....The friday before the holiday weekend my friends asked me to come to their party saturday night. i told them I couldn't because I had already made plans (which I had discussed with them many times) and that i couldn't go. They immeadiatly jumped down my throat asking questions like who is more important them or my boyfriends friends....and they said that I have not been spending enough time with them lately (one of them I work with 36 hours a week). I apologized and told them that I just couldn't go out with them. I thought they understood...they do things without me all the time and I don't get bent out of shape about it. Boy was I wrong. They instantly judged what kind of friend I was. here are some emails that were sent after the memorial day weekend situation. .....
Hi Bree,
I would have sent you a message Via Myspace but it appears I am not allowed, Corny sounding I know, but do you not want to be my friend anymore? I think removing me from your myspace totally was a little harsh.
friend
(I responded)
I have been having alot of issues the last couples weeks.....but all that you andfriend #2 can focus on is how shitty of a friend I am. I feel that when the two of you have really needed me I have been there. I would do anything for the two of you, but when I am unable to do something with you guys over memorial day weekend you completely judge what kind of friend I am. i have never felt so horrible in my life. Despite the snide remarks made by both of you, behind my back as well as to my face, I still tried to keep a smile on my face and pretend it didn't hurt. It has gotten to the point that it is easier to just to do my job and go home then to try to try to be a good person anymore. I am incredibly happy with Rob in my life. I want to share stories about the things we do together, but i know if i bring him up with the two of you it turns into "all the things I do with him and not the things I do with you guys". When friend #2 first started her relationship with Boyfriend, I was so excited for the two of them. I never questioned the time she spent with him and not with me. Yes, she did continue to do things with us, but when she did chose him over me I never gave her the third degree. The same goes with the two of you spending time together........I do not feel left out when you two do things without me because I know that you guys have the horses in common. I am tired of having to justify myself and how I spend my time. I am sure that if I didn't feel so shitty about the situation we would all be doing more together this summer. I spend alot of my time just sitting at home. It is easier then having your friends nit pick the whole time I am with them.
Also....I am trying to do as many fun things this summer as I possibly can. I am going to chicago, maryland, flordia, and hocking hills. All of these trips are cost free for me so I am not going to say no.
I still consider you as one of my best friends. I just feel that i am not able to put enough time into our friendship to make you or friend #2 happy. Also I know that in alittle over a year I will be leaving the area to go to school. I need to get away from my mom. I love her dearly, but as long as I stay close to her she is going to continue to be a parasite.
Friendship is a two way street too! I know that I live in BFE, but you guys are welcome to visit me too. You have never been here and friend #2 only visited once and that was to drop off a chair and leave. I wish we could just be right again :(
~Bree~
Well I guess I thought that after the long talk you and I had I thought things were ok any remarks I made thur morn were not aimed at you, I know friend #2 aimed a few your way but mine were not(meaning when I told friend #2 that I was only going to be gone for 1 week and then I would be here every weekend for her that was basically me teasing her about her being upset that you can't hangout with us every weekend.) When I asked you if you won the lottery b/c you were going away so much, that is something I would say to you any time I was not trying to be mean. Like I told you b4 I am not mad Just upset that we don't hang out much. I am not going to ruin my friendship with friend #2 over this but I flat out told her that I was not going to be mean to you no matter how mad she was. Yes I admit that I am upset and I will tell you why b/c when you were with Mike nothing changed you still had time for us, mike always came out with us we went to his house etc. now with this new guy whom we have only met once everything has changed you have probaly been with him close to as long as you were with Mike and we have seen him 1 time and that was at your bday it is like he only came b/c he was obligated. i feel that him and hanging out with his friends are more important than trying to hang out with us. It is hard for us to like him b/c 1. we have met him once and 2. it feels like he is monopolizing all of your time. I don't expect you to not go on vacations with him, but we are never even invited to go and hang out with you guys. As far as friendship being a 2 way street we feel like you have abandonded us you have only invited me to your new house 1 time and that was last friday when I had it off but you never called me on friday to make plans so what do you want me to do, I can't just show up I don't know where you live. And in my personal defense I have asked and asked you to come out with us it is like beating a dead horse your never gonna get the result you want so you finally quit, you kept saying no bree you had other plans that is not my fault. You were all excited or so it seemed about the scavenger hunt and our plans were that you and friend #2 were going to come over first to help set up then stay for the cookout you had the night off work, then you backed out so you could get a different sat off so you could go away is my understanding you would not have done that last summer. And while I know you think friend #2 and I are bad mouthing you behind your back we really aren't we just feel like you are throwing our friendship away and that is what we talk about. So while I want everything to be right again I guess we both need to see each others side I never said you were a crappy friend and I was hurt when you completely blocked your myspace its not like it was huge but it hurt.
Melissa
So...
Ever since this situation things have been askew. I have gone out with these two twice since this situation, but it doesn't feel the same anymore. They say that they have not been talking about me, but i have heard with my own ears them bad mouthing me. I don't care....that is how they feel, but don't try to act sweet to my face and then say such horrible things about me.
This story brings me to my next saga. Wednesday night Friend #2 placed a call to my cell phone asking me if I would come and work overnight with her because her assistant called off work. I would have been at school at this time anyways, but I did not get the message until I was going to my car the next morning. It was pointless to call her now because the night was over and she was at home sleeping now. I figured I would just talk to her at work that night. Well....when she finally got to work I greeted her and she looked away and said nothing. As a matter of fact, she said nothing to me for the next 12 hours that I had to work with her. She never asked what happened, why I didn't call back...nothing! (she did have two people come in and work with her the night she called me) It was like being in high school all over again. I must say that with out conversation, I was able to get alot more work done though.
So...to make a long story short......I am done walking around on eggshells. They are too high maintaince for me. I have other friends that are understanding of my busy school/work schedule. I also work with others that can help teach me the thinks I need to know to further my career. My only fear is that friend #2 is going to make work unbearable for me. Although it will be a horrible inconveince, I think I am going to have to switch shifts. I have learned many valuble lessons from these two. There are soooooo many more instances of them being petty, but I don't have enough time to write about how I watch friend #2's dog for 5 months while she moved with no thanks, or how both of them keep forgetting to give back some of my things causing me to have to buy new things so I can ride my horse, or how the two of them bad mouth each other to me, or how friend #2 sold a t.v. that she offered to me to someone else because her boyfriends friend wanted it, or how #2 invites me to do things with her but then when her boyfriend get the day off work I am then uninvited, and much much more.....I am done with them!
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